well, at least i can say i did walk.  however, the path to ‘motivation’ was a whole lot less than ideal and a lot ‘painful’ – geeezzz.

i won’t go into detail, just my own personal growth stuff, mostly – i say.  just will say that by late in the day i was so overwhelmed with negative emotion i decided a walk was about the only way to help clear my ‘field’, so to speak.  while i don’t recommend the means, at least the end was ‘satisfying’ and i can cross off day 1 – just 29 more to go.

one other thing – i did say that walking was not ‘painful’.  well, not totally accurate.  i forgot that walking makes my rotten tooth hurt – deep down, at jawbone/joint.  not an unbearable pain in and of itself.  it just reminds me of what i am avoiding because 1) it terrifies me to even think about having it ‘fixed’ and 2) even if i could work thru my fear, there is no way i can pay for the work to be done.  and, of course, if i allow it to – that thought can throw me right back into the victim soup with regard to money/finances, etc.

and added to that, the latest news on the home front that our home is still not ‘safe’ – good grief.  certainly more ‘grist for the mill’ as ram dass would say!!

onward & upward  chin up, old girl  etc etc etc  ^_^

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