I found myself, once again, pondering the ‘how come’ with regard to ‘lack of orders’ on the webpage.  And that led me to once again do some ‘introspective’ writing in my journal.  That was yesterday, and I talked myself out of sharing then – not so today. ^_^

I first wrote about the “newsletter & new recipe” schemes that many use and I ‘sort of’ attempted.  Just not my thing.  And then I wrote:

I need to find a way to free the page from my false beliefs.  To remember – I can have it anyway I want it – and, in fact, already do!  So, it’s not about figuring out the next, new & clever marketing scheme!  Once again – it’s an inside job.  An allowing what’s already mine to materialize.  Just say yes.  Somehow, I sense, I’ve held ‘allowingas yet another ‘struggle’ – like breaking down walls & removing huge, boulder-like barriers, etc – some act of will.  Maybe allowing, and letting go, are more about feeling than willing(which connotes some aspect of doing & power & control).  Allowing is being open, being receptive, hmmmm.  I am open & receptive.  I am allowing – as a noun, not a verb.  I am an open vessel into which God pours Its All Good.  It is who I am – my reason for being – an outlet thru which God flows & a ‘nerve ending’, if you will, thru which God experiences & a tool thru which God expresses.  I am a transmitter & a receiver ‘cell’ within God.  Infinite possibilities are already mine ‘for the asking’ = ‘for the receiving/accepting’. 

A desire is simply like pointing to ‘that one’ – which pointing will either result in manifestation – or not.  It would if I truly desired rather than wanted.  Desire is the manifestation spark – want identifies with lack & limitation & generates more of the same.  Desire is positive energy – want is negative energy.  We/I have held the two words to be the same, when, in fact, they are essentially opposite in nature.  In authentic  desire – you are in the feeling of that which is desired.  In wanting – you are in the feeling of the lack of that which is ‘wanted’.  Each feeling generates the “energy of attraction” & thus attracts to you that which matches, energy-wise, what you are broadcasting.  So, if desire is the energy of your desire & want is the energy of lack(of same) – hmmmm  doesn’t take a genius to see how come I have OFTEN not gotten what I said I wanted!!

If I am broadcasting lack, I can only attract that which matches the energy I am broadcasting – thus I will bring into my experience more lack.  OR Universe says “oh, you want “wanting” – ok, here ya go”  “Your wish is my command.”  And my command tool is my feeling/energy.

It is identifying myself as this human body in this relative reality where separation is the “norm” – separate forms with ‘space’ between, etc – that is the source of ‘wanting’ – if I can’t see it with these physical eyes(use any of the 5 senses), that means I don’t have it = it is lacking & becomes the “object of my desire”.  That’s not true ‘desire’ – that’s wanting in disguise.  As long as it’s a negative feeling, it is not desire.

ok, i think i have repeated myself enough.  well, for here, that is.  probably not enough to fully GET IT, for me!! ^_^  no orders yet. ^_^