Yesterday I was texting with a friend and fellow vendor and she was setting up at a show.  She arrived to discover her booth was in a small room with two other vendors, one of them “the icky _________ ladies”.  The blank being the name of their ‘country of origin’, a detail not necessary for this writing/pondering of mine.  My knee-jerk reaction was the impulse to write words of total agreement.  While I resisted writing the words, I did send ‘appropriate’ emoji’s.    And then began my pondering –

Why are those two women like ‘finger nails on a blackboard’ to me??  Why do I appear ‘ok’ with some accents and others seem to annoy me?    While I do well enough hiding my feelings from the others (out there), I cannot hide them from myself – and I do not understand!  I know we humans tend to fear anything ‘different’ from what we know and how we ‘are’.

It is also upsetting to me when I can’t understand what someone is saying because they can’t pronounce the word(s) the way I do (ie: properly).  Does, at that level, “fear of the unknown” get ‘converted’ to dislike and is dislike the lowest energy form of ‘anger’?  We know that anger is the energy of fear converted into “self-defense”.  Anger is our way of expressing fear defensively.  Is then, feeling annoyed or “disliking” actually the experience and resulting expression of very low level ‘fear of the unknown’??  Could it actually have nothing to do with me personally and is simply one of the carry overs from our beginnings as “cave dwellers” when that kind of fear was needed/necessary for survival?

If I were to accept that concept, could I not then simply observe my internal ‘knee-jerk’ reactions and not ‘attach’ myself?  Could I let them arise and pass with no guilt or shame OR outward/physical reaction.  Recognize, acknowledge and let it pass.  Has nothing  to do with me personally – OR the other person(s).  Part of “fight or flight” animal instincts and I have a much more ‘advanced’ mechanism/brain with which to ensure my ‘survival’. ^_^

The other, more complicated part of it is – the need to be right.  I think also part of the survival stuff – for included in being right is the need for everyone else to agree with and be/think/act like you = nothing ‘unknown’ to fear???  And in the extreme, that fear can lead to the need to “eliminate” anyone who does not agree with you or fit your pictures of what is “right”.  Add to that, in the case of what we call “acts of terrorism”, those committing the “killing” have been convinced that the ‘right’ thing they are doing will win them a special place in the “after life”.

So – all of that gives my logical brain a kind of ‘answer’ to my ongoing question of “WHY???”  But leaves me with –  where are we heading??  Looks like we are headed for self-destruction.  So then my question becomes – how do we turn it around??  Love!  As always and for every question – Love is the only answer.  Moment by moment each day – stay present and practice Love.  Smile at people for no reason.  Lend a hand when you can.  Do our best to cultivate a feeling and way of being ‘in Love’; coming from the Earth as our sacred home and all of humanity as our family.  Do what we can, when we can, to spread Love.  Pay attention when the early programmed false beliefs come forth and take over our conscious thinking and acting.  Sometimes the best we can do is ‘nothing’ – remember those 3 little monkeys – the “no evil” ones. ^_^

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