November 2016


Again from my journal, and there were some additional sentences just before this one with which I shall begin this writing – personal and not necessary for what I’m trying to express.

Ego is like that, the need to “be right” = survival (ultimately) and everything that changes is a threat to “survival”.  And the Nature of Life IS change.  Talk about living in a paradox!  We humans are programmed to fear and thus resist change – no matter how much we say we want and deeply long for same – our unconscious programming will resist at any cost – including our death.  Now that’s scary!

Perhaps that’s the real source of my (low level) ‘holiday depression’ (any and all holidays, not just like those rapidly approaching).  Holidays create  an overall ‘change’, something constantly ‘going on’, not our normal ‘hum’ that allows us to suppress everything so we can remain undisturbed in whatever our ‘normal’ routine.  I think it might be what causes me to feel a little ‘not ok’ the week or so before a show – the impending disruption of my ‘routine’ = mostly doing nothing. 😦  Once again where I am and kinda struggling to DO “other”.  To do some of the things I have constantly poking at me.  Even working on my quilt has become a way of ‘hiding out’ (with justification) and avoiding taking care of myself and my home.  And even tho I know what’s going on, I am struggling to stay out of its control.

Some “spiritual” folks are talking about it, and some of us are doing our best to hear and apply.  Seems very difficult, and I suspect even that thought is part of it.  Perhaps that’s a good place to start – staying conscious of my resistance to change and notice how it shows up.  All the myriad of little, subtle ways it influences my actions each moment.  All my “I don’t wanna” moments.  I can choose to listen to that voice and live with what it provides – a kind of “living death” and then death by inertia as the brain slows and the muscles atrophy with ‘lack of use’ – and soon you really are a ‘walking dead’ (have no idea what that show is about) ^_^

OR, I can adopt the attitude required to ‘eat an elephant’ – one bite/step at a time.  That is what I’ve been doing my best to do these days. Clean and clear even a small space.  Cut more squares for the boys’ quilts.  etc etc  Yes, truly ‘baby steps’ – still better than nothing, I say.  That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!  ^_^

From there the journal ventured into the world scene – but that’s “a whole other story” and one I will tell in the next blog – today or tomorrow???

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Yesterday was a very difficult day for me.  The FB posts I read triggered all sorts of negative reactions of fear and dismay.  And all day there were waves of sadness and fear that would just suddenly wash over me, triggering tears and fearful gut feelings.  Not too surprising to have the following words pouring out onto those pages again.  A little surprising that I am being urged to once again share.  Even if no one reads, I have at least added some positive energy to the huge cloud of negativity engulfing our country now – maybe even the World??  So, here goes:

There were some very disturbing posts on FB – people of color being told to “go to the back of the bus” by punks.  Black women being called n____ bitch. etc

  This too shall pass – angry people are prone to nasty ‘knee jerk’ reactions.  Decent folks will step forward and prevail.  In fact – the now much more real and obvious possibility will actually spark an outpouring of Love – more people, more aware of the words and actions of others – and their own automatic/unconscious thoughts, feelings and reactions.  The ugliness of a few will make the majority of us kinder and gentler.  And we will be more mindful of the words and actions of others.  Perhaps now keeping an eye on the young black woman alone ‘over there’; notice any “bully like” activity, any men approaching in an aggressive manner.  We will be looking out for each other and ‘we’ will escort the “inappropriate young men” off the bus!  There are more kind and caring people than “angry” and “WE” will make America kind again.  There is no ‘greatness’ in fear and anger and cruelty.  God Is Great and God Is Love 

And if you feel the need to “protest” – do a ‘sit down’, maybe with a candle, and meditate on Love!  An angry protest only escalates the anger and no one ‘wins’.  Everyone is ‘unsafe’. Very unwise and dangerous.  Hold hands and sing one of those Beatles songs!  Form circles within circles.  Form a line across the whole country!  Imagine!!  I wonder if you can? ^_^  It is time to come together, to truly ‘Love thy neighbor as thy self’.  See no skin coloring.  Ignore clothing or headgear.  No matter language or accents – heart to heart requires no words.  (I got it, God) – those angry young men are fulfilling their life purpose and it is painful to their own souls.  And they are the very catalyst that will spark the flame of Love and Kindness in the rest of us; will awaken our hearts and stir our very souls.  Yes, it is time for those songs to be sung again – maybe now, we can hear??  Imagine!  I wonder if you can.  Imagine – your young daughter is safe – any time of day and anywhere.  Imagine – your elderly parent will be automatically ‘helped’ whenever, where ever and however needed in the moment.  Imagine – your child will be accepted no matter any “disability”!  (And could that end our “need” for ‘disability?)

Yes, we are indeed on the path to/of ‘greatness’ – no guns or maybe even man-written laws will be required.  The only “concealed” is an open heart beating in each chest.  You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one!!  Just imagine – I wonder if you can.

Amen

Once again, I am sharing the words that poured out onto the pages of my journal as I attempt to make some sense of what appears so insanely bizarre.

As for Trump, I think he will fulfill on his campaign slogan and NOT by or of himself as his ego thinks.  We the people will gather ourselves – much as is happening for and with the Indians trying to protect their sacred lands!  We will come together in cooperation and love.  As I said months ago – he is the perfect mirror for us to see all the ways we unconsciously act toward each other.  And we will join together and self-correct.  Our ugly underbelly and scary shadow side now stand clearly in front of us, fully exposed – can no longer be denied, and thus can now be authentically healed! 

So, I say, yes – celebrate and let’s join hands and “git er done”!  We have always been the Country with a huge Heart – here are the words we speak to the world, as inscribed on Lady Liberty:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

It is time to once again live by those words – and now we can even look a little closer to home, in our own neighborhoods and towns and cities – there are weary and oppressed right here!  We have allowed our freedom to become about money and possessions.  About more and more for ‘me’ and to hell with you.  Think about the upcoming events – those insane “Black Friday” sales – we will literally trample on those in front of us to be first in the door. 😦  And we seal ourselves up in our big metal vehicles to move from place to place and become enraged when someone dares to move into a space on the highway that we consider to be ours. 😦  And it becomes  FB worthy when a young man assists and older woman navigate an escalator.:(  Our National Heart has been in great pain for a long time.  We have now shined the light on it and fully exposed what we have been denying for a very long time.  Thank you Trump for showing us so clearly that, yes, the time has come to make America great again – WE are the Heart of the Nation and we are finally on the path of healing – thru Love, Cooperation, Inclusion and Regard.  Time to start humming/singing John’s song “Imagine all the people…..” (I wonder if you can?)

Amen