life


I haven’t attempted to write anything for quite some time – couldn’t find a way to write what might be on my mind without adding to the negativity! 😦  Today, as usual, as I attempted to make some sense of what I was thinking, my mind wandered here:

It appears to me that this planet is one of two things:

1. It is the place where any other (saner) people send their crazy people!  You know, once they can find no other solution and are kind enough to not just lock them in some building/institution.

2. It is kindergarten for humans.  We are all in the 4-6 year old range ‘universally’ speaking.  Imagine – we are playing house, playing superman/woman and being bullies.  And in our childish hands we have weapons of mass destruction we can leash on anyone who takes our favorite toy!  Imagine – a bully with access to a red button that if pushed, could destroy life as we know it.

Now that’s something to keep me awake at night!!!

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IF it is True (& I sense that it is) – that we “bend reality” with our thinking and believing- is it not imperative that we remain CONSCIOUS?!!

I mean-if it is not what (something) you truly want – DON’T even think about it!!  Be vigilently (my word ^_^) conscious and aware of where your mind wants to wander and drag you! Stay out of “dark alleys”! Good advice at any level!  ^_^

For Christmas, family gave me 3 large, plastic ‘bottles’ of “Oil of Olay”.  The labels all touted promises of super moisturizing, etc. – in letters large enough to read without glasses. (Clue #1)

While I’m not very diligent about “body lotion”, I DO make sure I keep my face fully moisturized (in the vain attempt to ward off the dreaded wrinkles – silly me ^_^).  Since I had 3 large bottles, I decided to try some on my face – I mean, it’s “Oil of Olay”, right?  I figured the only possible problem could be the perfume – or whatever the difference between face and body lotion that might result in that one small red spot – the indication it’s not right for MY face.

And so – on it went – including eyelids (Clue/Fact #2).  I noticed a slight burning sensation a few moments later – uh oh, won’t do THAT again.  Guess “perfume” too much.  Then it was – on with my day.

Not long after, I came across a “sad” post on FB, and as usual – there were tears.  DANG!  Wait, DAMN!  My eyes are burning, you know, like when you get soap in your eyes! (Clue #3) WTF?!?  And this time, with glasses ON, I decide to read the label all the way to the bottom!  And there in “fine print” it says “BODY WASH!!  Ah hah, my dear Watson!!! omg!  Yes, I really did cover and carefully rub in – ON MY FACE – body wash!!!

I then ‘carefully’ (to prevent more burning eyes) “washed” it off.  Need I mention that I then looked a lot like Santa?  Rosy cheeks and nose like a cherry!! ^_^  However – my skin felt “smooth as glass”!  And with the application of the correct (and soothing) lotion and the passing of time – all was well again.

The moral of the story and the “advice” – make sure you are wearing your glasses when reading the label of something you are going to either apply to or ingest into your body!!!

As in Happy New Year, Ya’ll ^_^  You can probably stop reading at this point, cause I have no idea what I shall be typing next.  Truth is, as seems to be the case a lot these days – I had actually forgotten (yes, really!) all about this blog!  I found that so shocking that I decided to see if I could still even get on here!

Not going to write anymore about the sorry state of being of this country (hmm, I guess I just did).  I will say that I, for one, am committed to a “kindness revolution”. ^_^  Stay alert for opportunities to ‘be kind’ – I’ve read that even a smile could save someone’s life!  Ya just never know. ^_^

As for the business – I have been stuck for several months at the all too familiar (dare I say) “artist’s block”.  Not to mention I’m beginning to be poked by thoughts about “how long do I want to keep doing this?”.  I hate to admit it, but all that lifting and hauling is more exhausting than it used to be. 😦  And the driving also not quite as much fun.  Still there remains the other question – if not this, WHAT?!?  Give in totally to my tendency to be a hermit???  We shall see what this new year brings.  For now I am rationalizing with the thought that there are very few people who own every single design I’ve ever done.  And that means – there is still something for most everyone. ^_^  And – – waiting for inspiration!

And so – for those who have read this far – Happy New Year again!  And may this year be better and more peace-filled than the last!  If applique is something you intend to do this year – I have a few patterns available at http://www.artfullyapplique.com  😉

 

As I am forcing myself to prepare for a show which from this point of view is looking potentially “disasterous”, I find myself once again questioning.  That ever present question – “is it time to quit?”  And as the years have progressed, I seem to have been gathering evidence for “yes”.  I guess it’s simply a matter of time until those reasons outweigh the one that has kept me going – that being “out and about” is better for my “health and well being” than to remain “home alone” in this small space.  It is beginning to feel like the wear and tear on my aging body is overcoming the “ego perks”. 😦

And then there is this – I can not continue to be a kind of “traveling museum”.  That is, displaying a skill that was once ‘honored’, so to speak, and valued.  Handwork, like clocks with hands, is becoming extinct in terms of a skill anyone wants to learn – let alone master. And while the ‘oohs & ahhs’ feel good, they don’t pay the bills, so to speak(again^_^).  And, as we all know, everything required to produce a product and get it to a location, and into a space – all of those “expenses” have gone way up.  While “income” has continued to decline.

And that leaves the issue of ‘intent’ – why am I doing this in the first place??  Yes, I certainly need to make money!  As noted above – there are those built in expenses.  There are also the what would be called ‘overhead’ expenses, except in this case – it includes ‘living’ expenses!!  So, there is that.  However, there has always been the joy of creating and sharing.  I have refused to do things/designs just because they would sell – so to speak. (again)^_^  I have only done what has called to me – my favorite flowers, etc.  And, until recently, only using hand, needleturn applique’!  Yes, there are those two new patterns!  They are done with machine applique’.  And you might be thinking – well, then, why not just go in that direction?  And I can only say – because that would not be being true to me.  It would feel like ‘doing it for the money’ – and then it would truly become a “JOB”!  It’s hard work and hard enough to do ‘for the love of it’!!

And there you have it – my unanswered question.

After reading the Daily Guide that I use, I feel moved to write –

It seems the the 4 of us (myself and siblings) were ‘conditioned’ to sadness (@ best! and perhaps even to some degree, misery?).  And so, the overall state of mind that became comfortable and “safe” (to OUR mind) is some degree/level of UN-happiness.  And given the purpose of the mind is ‘survival’ and it sees any change/deviation from its established and accepted “status quo” as a threat (to its  survival), ANY and ALL moments of “joy and happiness” in ANY form (eg: success of any kind) must be somehow squelched and/or ‘punished’ – whatever it takes to return to its accepted “status quo” = “safety”= survival.

It is my ego/mind/programming that I am allowing to ‘run my life’ and its goal is its own survival and to hell with me – literally!!  For its concept of life is a kind of ‘living hell’!  Hah!!  Perhaps that is the true definition of “hell” – the life your ego mind gives you!  And Heaven is the Life given by God or your authentic, higher Self!!  ^_^

As a side note here – what the hell happened to the ‘underline’ option????  grrrr

 

 

I see the twinkle in your eye!  Yes, it IS ok, it IS safe to be happy and to have what you want – not bad & wrong, not selfish & self-centered – Safe & Right, God’s plan for us!! ALL of us! We were created in order for God to express and experience all of Its amazingness. ^_^  Placed within an infinite playgound filled with any & everything we could imagine.  And, in order to be able to distinguish all the good, there had to be a “background” of ‘not that’.  And we had to have the freedom to choose.  And, somehow we got lost and ‘distracted’ – our thinking and believing human wandered off into the dark, and the shadows became monsters and we kept running away from the Light – and here we are – we have turned around and are headed home!  Back to the Light and Love!!

I am grateful to know – I am a Child of God, I am God sent out to play, safe & free in God’s Infinite Playspace.

And so it is!!!

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